1. |
inhibited impetus
02:58
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fuck!
looks like i woke up again today
so i gotta muster up the gumption
to rack my goddamn brain
another spitballed half baked explanation
for the grimace on my face
in place of a grin
if the honest truth is what you want
baby now you have it it’s that
i can’t handle being on
this god forsaken planet
and i hope that i don’t become what i hate
before i find a way to stand it
am i broken or deficient
either way i’m petulant and disparate
i’ve heard it’s possible to savour life
but i’m holed up and bitching that
once again the question of the day
is will i ever be okay
but i can never answer it
so i add asking it
to the list of habits that i should break
i possess a ceaseless infatuation with death
but getting his attentions
a little harder than you’d think
if you wanna see a sad attempt
look to your pack of cigarettes
where you’ll find a portrait of my teeth
i got my masters in the crack pipe
then graduated to meth
all the while never straying from the drink
and on the day that i take my last breath
i’ll only be pissed off at the fact
that it took so fucking long
am i broken or deficient
either way i’m petulant and disparate
i’ve heard it’s possible to savour life
but i’m holed up and bitching that
once again the question of the day
is will i ever be okay
but i can never answer it
so i add asking it
to the list of habits that i’ll never break
i’m broken and deficient
hell i’m destined to be an indigent
it’s impossible to savour life
hence why i’m holed up
and bitching that
once again the lesson of the day
is that i’ll never be okay
my mind will remain to rot
as my dismal trains of thought
lead me into an early grave
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2. |
vice grip
03:45
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i’ve been up to no good
but you knew that already
you could tell by the smell
of the booze on my breath
and the look on your face says
i should wait until the morning
to mention that i went and got arrested again
i’ve got a piss poor attitude
i’m a pessimist at best
and at my worst i end up hurting you
i promise to better though
i only follow through with it
about as often as an alcoholic
takes a solid shit
my worries get the best of me
and my vices get the rest of me
i’m sorry there’s not much left of me
by the time i hit your lips
i’d swear the universe was testing me
if i believed in anything
other than the fact that this whole world
has promptly gone to shit
and i’m stuck in it
i’ve become nothing but
a piss drunk fuck up
all that’s left in my wake is trouble
you laid the bar down
on the goddamn ground
but darling i brought a shovel
i’ll never amount to anymore
than the habits i can’t break
you best shelf your
loft expectations baby
i’ll engulf your life in flames
my worries get the best of me
and my vices get the rest of me
i’m sorry there’s not much left of me
by the time i hit your lips
i’d swear the universe was testing me
if i believed in anything
other than the fact that this whole world
has promptly gone to shit
and i’m stuck in it
now i’m on a different sidewalk
in a different city
strumming the same three chords
and drunk on the same cheap brand of whisky
sometimes it seems as if i slit my wrists
not a single soul would miss me
i know full well that ain’t true
so i’m left to hope you’ll still forgive me
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3. |
alexithymic
02:43
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words do no justice to what is
always spiralling through my brain
the dictionary lacks exact
description for this feeling in my veins
it’s stuck on the tip of my tongue
what the fuck
why won’t it come out
and who the fuck constructed
this brick wall between
my emotions and my mouth
i think i’m on the edge
the brink of insanity
this cacophony of thoughtless thoughts
won’t end its fucking maddening
bursting at the seams
but can’t distinguish or describe it
despite it constantly immersing me
goddammit i’m alexithymic
my mind procures obscure excuses to loop this noose around my neck
but much like this frayed rope, those reasons all bear a fuzzy edge
when directing my hands to fasten the knot my pitfalls all make perfect sense
but attempts to force em from my mouth burn out before they’ve even commenced
i think i’m on the edge, the brink of insanity
this cacophony of thoughtless thoughts won’t
end its fucking maddening!
bursting at the seems
but can’t distinguish or describe it
despite it constantly immersing me
goddammit i’m alexythymic
monosyllabic replies are emphasized
by my deadpan face
when i dissociate and leave my body rotting where it lays
this feelings inexplicable but if i still give it a shot
you can the smell the smoke from when my broken words come screeching to a stop
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usually trespassing
folk-punk solo act hailing from the land mass currently referred to as Canada
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